Dismissed

My week home was wonderful. It flew by, and it was warm and lush and so very green green green, much like the Pennsylvanian summers I remember. It went fast, and I actually traveled a lot (day trip to Maryland with the family, day trip to New York for the shower, and both Wednesdays were spent traveling). Despite that, I also made sure to get in a lot of downtime with my family: late night chats and Discovery Health Channel with my sis (being in medical professions, we’re both seriously addicted to Mystery Diagnosis, Mystery ER, etc…she was so great at diagnosing, too – definitely has some solid nursing skills), walks after dinner with my Mom and sis, ooo….the Grey’s season finale (although I seriously believe that my cousin and I are the only two people left that still follow the show), and my first real shopping spree with my Mom and sis in probably over three years.

Being back in Austin has been great, and likewise has been going fast. This weekend I managed to get in a lot of playtime with friends, my boyfriend, and his new roommate, and tonight I babysat. Since coming back, I’ve caught up on errands, bills, recycling, cleaning, and rebooted my yoga practice. I’ve started doing dropbacks (I’ve got the dropping back part down, but the coming up part I’m struggling with). I’ve also started doing side crow pose (I can get it on my left side, but not my right side yet – my right side is always slower to follow in almost everything I learn). I still do my headstands next to the wall, but my instructor told me two weeks ago she thinks it’s just a prop. Mentally, I still feel like I need it. Physically, I don’t use it nearly as much as I used. She said I should just try doing it away from the wall and see if I can pop up. The only times I’ve felt brave enough to try it lately I’ve been a bit inebriated (anyone else crave asanas after a beer or two?), but decided against it. Regardless, it’s weeks like this that make yoga worthwhile and so exciting. It’s the achievements, whether little or big, that make it thrilling. One day, you’re trying for the 70^th consecutive time to do something you’ve been attempting for what feels like ages and then the next day, you graduate – your body is now capable of doing something that long ago you once thought would’ve been impossible. It's a pretty amazing feeling.

Lastly, and a bit randomly, I’ve been thinking about something a friend had said to me about two years ago. At the time, I was struggling with letting someone go out of my life when he was making it evident he desperately wanted nothing else but out. After seeking his advice, my friend said to me: “Don’t worry. You’ll get better at it with time. You learn to dwell less, and move on. I’ve actually gotten scary-good at kicking people out of my life.” Two years later, I don’t think I’ve completely fulfilled that prediction, but I have noticed it in some ways I’ve learned to rid my life of people who are obviously bad for me. Last September, I made a decision to rid my life of things (thoughts, habits, and even people) that were, for lack of a better word, “toxic” to my happiness. I started seeing people in their true light, and noticed how much crappier I felt after hanging out with them. I noticed how they treated others, what their priorities were, and how they responded to challenges to their conscience.

Over the past year I’ve had to dismiss a few people from my life for various reasons, and true to my friend’s words…it was not as hard as I thought it would be. I don’t think it means I’m any better at letting people go, but perhaps I’ve gotten better at moving on from people and situations that I know are bad for me, things that will only cause unrest in my heart and drama in my life. When my goal is love and peace of mind, why would I want any unnecessary anxiety hanging around? Why would I want to associate with people who are self-centered and petty, or to stand for being mistreated? I do not wish them malevolence, but neither do I wish them the best. I am indifferent. The opposite of adoration/love is apathy. I think this means I’m learning how to recognize what is good for me, and what could potentially cause me harm. I’m learning to surround myself more with likeminded and wonderful people….good and true friends who see me for who I am and would do anything for me and I would do anything for, friends who are loving, caring, and genuine. I don’t know why it took me years to discover that one’s freedom to choose whom to associate with is a liberating reality.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, and don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

If someone is treating you recklessly, let go and move on to a greater good.