School is in full swing. I had a quiz Thursday, two big exams Friday, and have another test coming up Tuesday. They were all surprisingly more challenging than I thought they’d be (not at grad school level, but for undergrad classes they definitely were hard). I like that. I like being challenged because it keeps me from becoming bored, and it also encourages me to study more devotedly. This is my future career. I will be working with patients and need to know this material inside and out, and having tons of homework, quizzes, and tough tests keeps me motivated to keep working hard. I’m so happy with this semester though. I’m so happy that I was able to make a change in my life.

I’ve been thinking a lot about happiness lately. Right now I think I am sincerely at one of the happiest places I’ve been in a very long time. And I’ve realized a secret to becoming happy…that a lot of reaching that happiness is under our own control. Happiness if something we are capable of creating in our lives, but we need to be able to be honest with ourselves about what we want, and we have to have the fortitude to make the necessary choices to get there. It’s about respecting and loving yourself, imperfections included. It’s about patiently accepting that some things in life are out of your control, and knowing there is a higher Reason to it all. About taking each day as it comes, enjoying the details of the simplest pleasures, forgiving others, expanding your perspective. It’s about enjoying the search for peace of mind, and celebrating the victories along the way.

Things in my life are not perfect. There are some things I wish I could change: some I’m trying to alter and some are beyond my power. But “wise people count their blessings. Fools count their problems.”

On a less philosophical note, I haven’t been to yoga classes in over a week. I had to skip one because of an appointment with the GI specialist, and the other I skipped because I wasn’t feeling well and thought I was getting the flu. It was a random few hours of illness: uncomfortable throat, low-grade fever, achy muscles, and a cough. The whole thing lasted less than 24 hours though…I was feeling drained and exhausted up until today, so hopefully I kicked it. I got my new running shoes (on sale!) and took them out for a few romps. I think I’d like to try another 5K at the end of October. I want to start training for a half-marathon this fall/winter. I don’t think I’ll do the Austin Half, though…I’ve heard that it’s not the best one for beginners.

Although I’ve been slacking with yoga and running, I have been biking a lot. I try to bike to school, and depending how many trips I take it comes out to 4-8 miles a day (plus any riding I do around campus). I’ve also been trying to bike around town when I can (to bars, to friends houses, even to shop if I know I’m not going to be buying too much).

I also booked a random trip to San Diego in November. There was a big discount on tickets, and two of my friends and I are going to meet up there for a few days. Last time I was in San Diego was two years ago for the SfN conference, and I didn’t really have a chance to play much, so I’m looking forward to this trip a lot. I haven’t had the opportunity to travel much in the past few years (other than trips home), so I think a few days in a new city will be welcome, especially since next year I will have less schedule flexibility than I do now.

Oooo, and Friday night I celebrated the end of the week my making a homemade peach pie. It’s a recipe I got from the mother of one of my best friends. We ate it with friends last night (with some Amy’s ice cream on the side) while watching the PSU white out game. I was actually kind of impressed…the pie was fabulous! I think next time I’d cut down the amount of almond extract I use (it was a little overpowering in my opinion), but the fresh peaches made for a deliciously juicy pie that was a perfect balance or sweet and tartness. Gosh, I love to bake! I’ve been experimenting with new dinner recipes, too. I made stuffed red bell peppers the other night, using a stuffing of rice, tomato sauce, fresh jalapenos, chunks of slow roasted rotisserie chicken, feta cheese, and some chili powder, paprika, and crushed red pepper to taste. It would have been complete if I had some seasoned red kidney beans, but it was still quite yummy.

Ok, times to watch the Colts game and study for my test. :-)

Fall Invades Austin?

I had my doctor appointment this morning. As I suspected, since the medication hasn’t been helping as much as she’d like, so she’s sending me to a specialist to get an endoscopy. I am not excited about this procedure, but I will also admit that I’m looking forward to it being over so we can finally figure out what is wrong with me. Although I know it’s probably nothing, I’m a little nervous. I know what the worst-case scenario could be. And I know I have a family history of it. But I’m trying not to worry about it until there is actually something to worry about. And pray. I’ve been praying like mad.

This weekend was good for me though. It was incredibly relaxing. I’d had a very social past few weeks, and I needed some down time at home. The past week has felt like fall here in Austin. Is it here to stay? Austin weather tends to be exciting and unpredictable.

It poured rain Friday and Saturday, and I essentially spent most of that time curled up in boxers with a blanket on the couch. I made a romantic crab cake dinner on Friday night (complete with an assortment of cheese/crackers/mustard/jellies as an appetizer, a Caesar salad, and mashed potatoes). Saturday morning I woke up early to an air raid of rain bullets being dropped on the roof, and couldn’t sleep so I did 30-45 minutes of yoga, and then practiced some phonetics while watching an old Grey’s rerun. The rest of the day was filled with rotating sessions of cuddling up on the couch, watching college football, sitting by a window listening to the rain, and working on phonetics. Watching the games with the lights off and the rain relentlessly falling outside brought back strong memories of typical Saturdays growing up in Pennsylvania….I’d be coming home from an art class, Dad would be watching the PSU game in the living room with the dogs, and Claire would be keeping Mom company in the kitchen watching the Fightin’ Irish play. My Mom would be making a crock pot chicken or beef stew, and would be burning a MacIntosh Yankee Candle burning in the kitchen. The house was dimly lit, and the weather was dark and crisp. It made me a little homesick.

Sunday was more football (go Colts!), and a little studying, and then meeting up with a friend from the Speech Path Program. We shared a blueberry kombucha tea and chatted on the back porch of a small café in the French Place.

Usually after a weekend with an activity level barely rivaling that of a sloth, I tend to feel somewhat remorseful for wasting time and being lazy, but I woke up this morning feeling rejuvenated and alive. I spent excellent quality time with my love, I got some great practice for my phonetics class, and it felt lovely to allow myself to indulge in guilty pleasures without shame (closed off Saturday night with a bacon cheeseburger with grilled onions, BBQ sauce, and fries….mmm :-)).

This weekend was definitely worth every second. :-)

I’m getting frustrated with my body’s circadian rhythms. How long is it going to take me to get back on a “normal” schedule? Last night I had every intention of being in bed by 11:30 or 12, and once again I found myself flip-flopping like a fish under my covers until almost 3 a.m. Haha, well maybe soon enough classes will exhaust me enough I will become like one of those dolls, the ones where you lie them in a supine position and their pupils roll back into their heads and their eyelids flap shut.

I realized last night (this morning, 2 a.m.?) that I think one of the things I want to change about myself is that I feel like I am too much a jack-of-all-trades, but only to a mediocre degree in each skill. I am an artist and a painter, but have been out of regular practice for over two years (since I started the PhD Neuro program). I am a horseback rider, but again have had little opportunities in Austin to expand my talents. I am a runner, but haven’t competed in any distance greater than a 5K (I really want to do a half-marathon; I think a full marathon would exacerbate my knee injury too much). I bike regularly, but would like to do it more regularly. I’d gotten really good at yoga, but again, let my busy research schedule get the best of me. I think I really want to focus on just a few things, and improve them. I would rather be good at a few things, and so-so at others rather than average at all of them.

I’ve been spending time evaluating my short- and long-term goals for myself. More on that later, since I am more fastidious when choosing goals to set for myself. Based on my past experiences, if I have a list of too many goals, I eventually get overwhelmed and will falter. I think I will choose several main points to focus on during this semester (year?), and then will leave the rest up to spontaneity.

I had my Vinyasa class today. It was a little rough…I felt very awkward and clumsy – my asanas were not as graceful as they used to be, and my vinyasas didn’t have a good flow….it was like it needed some lubrication….very rusty. But I have to remember to be gentle with myself. This is my first class in months, and with time I will resuscitate my abilities, and expand on them. :-)

The dawn of a new blog

I believe that I'm at the beginning of a new chapter in my life. I kept a blog back years ago in my early college days (that I have long since lost the password to), and innumerable personal journals and diaries over the years, but because my most recent attempt at blogging (6 months ago) was a near-failure with an update rate of of one entry per 5 months, I decided that with a new chapter in my life begins a new blog. So...

A little bit about me. I moved to Texas two years ago, and began my life in Austin. Since then, many changes have occurred in practically every facet of my life. In this past year alone, I have become a very different person. I’ve grown up a lot, and feel as if I am finally finding myself. In this past year alone, two very big changes occurred in my life: one was my choice, and one was not. I made a very big decision about 9 months ago that the PhD track I was on was not leading me towards my dreams, and I did something that was both scary and exciting: I took action. I realized my unhappiness, and I decided I wasn’t going to settle for something mediocre. I wanted fulfillment, and I wanted to find a future that I would be passionate about. And I did…I found something that made me happier. I found a better life. The other incident is more personal, and I’m not going to divulge much detail about that except to say that likewise, I’m finding a better life.

So….I guess that is where I am now. I am starting my new program. I’m taking classes, and taking out loans (for the first time ever…*sigh*), and hunting for a part-time job. I’ve also gotten back into running and cycling (love my Cannondale!). This weekend was great. It started out nice and relaxing. I went out Friday night for a dinner date with my boyfriend, and then we watched some Planet Earth. Saturday was the first UT football game of the season, which was a blast. The game itself was fun, with a few really exciting moments, and right before the fourth quarter began it started to drizzle just a little. I love the rain, particularly in Austin where it has been absent for entirely too long. Mmm…especially warm rain. It has that smell of wet asphalt and sizzling concrete associated with it – entirely different from the bone-chilling cold autumn rains I grew up with in the Northeast. I would say the only downside about the game was that we were right near the cannon, and it kind of smelled like Bevo-farts every time the damn thing was fired off (which was often).

Sunday, I went to bf’s lab gathering down in the Hill Country. It was awesome…there was a donkey, and two horses (one of which I might actually start riding soon on a regular basis), and even chickens. I got to meet some new friends, and eat some phenomenal guacamole, and even hear the gory details of how a donkey is gelded.

Today was a lot of much needed “me” time. I cleaned, ransacked REI in the 5 minutes I had before they closed, put my new saddle on the Cannondale (with some assistance), cooked some din-din, and made some decaf Hawaiian Grog (which, sadly, now smells like writing my Masters’ thesis)....just unwound.

Ok. I think I’m going to practice some phonetics transcription before bed.