I’m getting frustrated with my body’s circadian rhythms. How long is it going to take me to get back on a “normal” schedule? Last night I had every intention of being in bed by 11:30 or 12, and once again I found myself flip-flopping like a fish under my covers until almost 3 a.m. Haha, well maybe soon enough classes will exhaust me enough I will become like one of those dolls, the ones where you lie them in a supine position and their pupils roll back into their heads and their eyelids flap shut.

I realized last night (this morning, 2 a.m.?) that I think one of the things I want to change about myself is that I feel like I am too much a jack-of-all-trades, but only to a mediocre degree in each skill. I am an artist and a painter, but have been out of regular practice for over two years (since I started the PhD Neuro program). I am a horseback rider, but again have had little opportunities in Austin to expand my talents. I am a runner, but haven’t competed in any distance greater than a 5K (I really want to do a half-marathon; I think a full marathon would exacerbate my knee injury too much). I bike regularly, but would like to do it more regularly. I’d gotten really good at yoga, but again, let my busy research schedule get the best of me. I think I really want to focus on just a few things, and improve them. I would rather be good at a few things, and so-so at others rather than average at all of them.

I’ve been spending time evaluating my short- and long-term goals for myself. More on that later, since I am more fastidious when choosing goals to set for myself. Based on my past experiences, if I have a list of too many goals, I eventually get overwhelmed and will falter. I think I will choose several main points to focus on during this semester (year?), and then will leave the rest up to spontaneity.

I had my Vinyasa class today. It was a little rough…I felt very awkward and clumsy – my asanas were not as graceful as they used to be, and my vinyasas didn’t have a good flow….it was like it needed some lubrication….very rusty. But I have to remember to be gentle with myself. This is my first class in months, and with time I will resuscitate my abilities, and expand on them. :-)