This month has been a month of milestones. Yesterday I had my mid-semester review (which is when the clinical supervisors fill out a 15-page form evaluating how you are doing as a clinician thus far). I did well, but was a little bit nervous beforehand….being a good clinician is something I want so badly, and this semester is my first time conducting therapy. The first few weeks of school, I think we all felt like we had a lot to prove: that we could survive working 6-7 days a week with 8-14 hour shifts, that we could balance having lots of clients with three classes and one TA appointment, that we could survive on less food and sleep than we ever thought possible, and perhaps most importantly, that we were capable of planning and executing great therapy sessions.
The first milestone I reached this month was professional. Last Friday I was listening to a recording of one of my sessions and I noticed something that kind of caught me by surprise: I sounded like a therapist. The way I was educating and instructing, the manner by which I provided feedback – I felt awesome about it. I’ve begun to notice other things that to me signify growth. I’m more comfortable walking into a session where I know undergraduates are observing me. I am better able to monitor how the sessions are going, and am improving at making some impromptu adjustments when needed. I am getting a teeny bit faster and more efficient at writing lesson plans and evaluating sessions. Tiny steps that they may be, in short I feel like I’m truly developing into who I want to become. I want to be the best speech pathologist possible, because I want to be able to provide paramount services to people.
The second milestone was with running. When I was in high school, I used to run 3-4 miles 6-7x a day, and at track we would do up to 8-10 miles. Since my junior year of high school, I have not gone more than 4.5 miles. This past Sunday, I finally (officially) broke my 5 mile mark. And it felt great! The stress from the program has been a fabulous motivator at keeping me running –I’m able to run 3 miles not and not even feel winded. I’m still considering doing some sort of half marathon, but we’ll see where it takes me. All I know is that my passion for running has been reignited.
There are things I really miss about having free time. I reeeeeally miss yoga. I have pretty much put yoga on the back burner for now – I barely have enough time to squeeze in my runs, yet alone do yoga. I miss cooking. My grocery list used to be all fresh and whole ingredients, things from HEB and farmer’s markets. I made it a point to cook meals almost every night, and to bake once every week or two. I cannot remember the last time I baked. Now, my grocery list is made up of single serving prepackaged food that I can eat on the go and involves virtually no kitchen clean up. I eat yogurt in class in the mornings (sometimes cereal if I have time, but usually not). I eat Healthy Choice/Lean Cuisine frozen meals for every lunch and dinner, and supplement them with hand fruits (apples and bananas), granola bars, string cheese, yogurts, and cottage cheese mini packages. My recycling bin is full of plastic and cardboard before my dishwasher is full of dishes. I also really miss hanging out with my friends. I try to allow myself one night a week to veg out, but can never get too crazy since I have to work pretty much every day. Because I eat lunch in class/clinic, I don’t have time for many lunch dates. I’m in clinic until past sunset, and then still have work when I get home (and early mornings) so evenings during the week are out. Having to say no to social situations is probably the hardest part about this, especially since my sister only has two days off a week (she works nights), so I rarely see her.
But, considering all of the sacrifices, I am happy. I am happier than I was when I was in neuroscience. I love what I do, and even if I’m doing exhausting quantities of it, I still get passionate about it and fully invest myself in ever session I have. And let me tell you, there is no feeling quite like finding your passion, and realizing you can make it your career. As someone who hated her job for years, it feels so good to have found something so right. :-)
And on that note….I’ll be up before the sun rises tomorrow, so it's time for bed. I leave you with this, my current favorite “decompression” song by Jónsi.
Good night. :-)
Jónsi - Hengilas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkX9EC3AvTg&feature=related
