Puzzle piece

I’m trying to figure out a puzzle. Following some news I received this week, I guess I set up some expectations for situations I thought would unfold, and they didn't.

Problem is, it’s affecting me more than I’d like to admit. I’ve had nightmares about it for three days in a row. It’s for the best, and will at least put things out of sight. Unfortunately, I’m finding it a little harder to put it out of mind.

And I know there has to be a way to make my own peace. I know there has to be a way, but I just don’t know how. There's a piece to the puzzle that's missing and that's an apology. How do you forgive and forget someone who has hurt you and isn’t sorry? I’ve gone through the actions time and time again, but I want closure.

Peace of mind and lack of an apology.

It's a riddle of life.

How do I negotiate the two?

And a new year begins...

So a new year has started. I can't believe how fast 2009 has come and gone. So many changes. A year ago today, my sister was visiting me. I was working in the lab, and getting ready to do my first set of solo surgeries. I ran my first and second 5K's (first ones since high school at least). I went on my first long bike ride (20-something miles). I met new friends. I was faced with personal challenges and survived them. I ate French food, and it was everything I could've dreamed it to be and more. Family members graduated, got engaged, and friends had babies. I got a Masters and started a new career path. I got back into yoga. I met even more new people. I've discovered more about myself and have started finding the path to inner peace. I made my first cheesecake (no cracks! yay!) and we made our first turkey together. :-) I started painting again for the first time in 3 years. I finally learned how to go under water without holding my nose (yep, absurdly proud of that one!).

Every single second of every single day, we are granted the chance to start over and make a resolution. New Year's really isn't anything so special, but most people use this time to make resolutions. I'm not criticizing it (hell, I do it, too), just observing. Personally I think the first day of spring is my favorite day to make resolutions, with the whole theme of new life.

I usually try not to get too caught up in resolution making. There are always the standard ones I work at constantly anyway (stay organized, keep my apt clean, keep and eye on my finances, try to be a better person (friend, daughter, sister, lover, stranger) all around, etc.), but I think this year my main resolution is something that I've totally overlooked. I need to be better about recycling. I used to be a recycle-queen and was great about going to the main center downtown every two weeks to drop it all off, but I've been bad about it this past year. Also I think in 2009 I was able to change my perspective around, and become a much more positive thinking person. I think my goal for 2010 is to continue growing in this manner.

So that's it for now. I have other goals, but I've had them for some time, so I don't know if I'd really call them resolutions.

Ok, I think it's time to sleep (again) and continue recovering from the New Year's craziness/traveling (which amounted to about 48 hours without sleep) and getting ready to settle back into things here. So tired, haha.

Happy New Year's.